somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
