HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
