I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
