I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
