bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
