I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
