How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
