I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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