Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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