wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
