i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
