I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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