I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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