You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
