I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
