Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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