is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
