is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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