You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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