the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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