I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
