I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
