I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
