hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
