I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
