Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
