He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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