physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
