Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
