But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
