If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
