I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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