I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
barbara walters just said penis...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
