we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
