MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
