I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
