FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
