you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
