the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i came on her dog
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
