so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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