Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just google imaged poop.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
