theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
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