all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need a burrito and a hug.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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