I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
