3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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