thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
