The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
