The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
