I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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