With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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