My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
