so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
