I faked an abortion last night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
