took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
false alarm. still invincible.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Pants are for mortals
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
